I’ve often said, the best and worst thing about having a blog is that it allows you to write. And to write about whatever you want. Not even a job for many of us, but an impetus that drives our thoughts from a jumble to a somewhat orderly sentence, you can run the gamut from Oscar Wilde to Virginia Woolf. Since most days I agree with Mr. Wilde’s view on society, if not his aesthetics, writing helps me from becoming truly cynical as I try to see the world with more grace and compassion.
But it doesn’t always work.
A friend of mine asked recently what my motivation for writing was. I replied, it keeps me from killing people, drinking too much, and from having to go to confession every day. A touch of the gross over-exaggeration, but you’ll have to forgive me, I’m a writer. Writing allows most of us to sort it out, to say things in ways that we’re not always to communicate in conversation. As society puts strappings on its people from what we can and should be talking about or more actively be honest about who we want to be in polite company, it allows me to find a small outlet to be a Jo or Lizzie or for modern day purposes a Sheryl Sandberg or Gwyneth Paltrow in a world that is not comfortable with those personalities. These ladies are examples out of books or as ladies who’ve made it, but there are so many others, such as Elaine Lui of Lainey Gossip, who began her entertainment blog to keep a few of her friends in the loop about the fun gossip from the entertainment world. I’ve been a reader several years, not just because of the gossip BUT because of the super smart commentary on life and the world we live in from Lainey, Sasha, Duana, Sarah, Jacek, and more. I visit that blog every day for the realness (sorry grammar police, I know you hate the word, but it stays) of the personalities that populate the pages when commenting on the hypocrisy of the celebrities we’ve catapulted to the top of the food chain. In the same way, I try to write on my blog at least once a day to make sense of the “wtf” that I sometimes encounter in my own life, even if I don’t publish the post. Much of the world I’ve always lived in doesn’t care for ladies who burn quite that brightly if you want to get accepted at the big boys table. So I try to temper it through words on a screen and snarky memes as more of a polite way to laugh at the things we do to each other and ourselves deliberately. I don’t want my own empire of mommy, lifestyle or fashion. I want a place to think aloud and argue with myself, sometimes with poorly thought out logical sentences.
I think it was Ernest Hemingway or perhaps Peter De Vries who said “write drunk, edit sober.” I tend to agree with this saying, not because I think great creativity comes from those who are lit but it does come from those who have both sides of the mask. I, like many people, put a lot of restrictions on myself, but at times or when a week or day gets away from me, my mask slips to have the other girl come out and well, it becomes a welcome to our porch kind of moment. Some of those instances create the best blog posts, and the others…well, it allows you to learn how to craft a really amazing thank you and apology card a la Charles Lamb.
No matter the motivation for the writing, I’m always happy to hear and see people who share their thoughts that way. But I like those kind of connections. I like seeing what makes up humanity, even when it reminds me of silly or shallow we can be. It helps to lessen the overwhelmingness of the violent and thoughtless world that surrounds us. It also allows us to have more grace for those who send 10 paragraph emails about titles and missed recognition because it reminds us that each one of us needs to be validated, even if it is the self-reproach and blame we place on ourselves for letting our masks drop.